Part II: The Weirdness Continues

I didn't imagine part 2 would start off with stories (I am traveling with two other guys who are detail oriented in planning), but it couldn't have got off to a weirder start.

Destination: Seattle (from Los Angeles)

Means of transportation: 35 hour Amtrak.

Part II: Seattle ---> Tijuana; Pacific Coast Highway   

The journey started in the train station with a transvestite putting a full court press on me sexually. Quite possibly the grossest thing ever. Turns out that same person sat two rows ahead of me and would attempt to seek me out the whole train ride. I would be in the lounge area and she/he would come in and walk towards me, I would get up and leave. 

She/he would say "hi"

I would respond with: "not interested." 

Some may take this as being assholeish but let's see you be polite to someone who wants to rub their junk all over you. It's best to be blunt with these people. I'm not one to judge lifestyles/life decisions. I'm a type of guy who doesn't care about anything unless it affects me personally, I just want to be left alone. I suppose I am one of those libertarians, so to speak of wanting minimal restrictions. Let people be who they are.

It goes as follows:

Head phones in the ear = don't talk to me

Head phones + sunglasses on indoors = leave me the f alone. 

That person ended up falling asleep with their hand in their pants. Sorry for the low quality photo, I couldn't let the flash go off for obvious reasons:

After dodging he/she for the entire ride, I got a surprise attack and side hug from it when we got to Portland (his last stop). It was horrific, I almost vomited from her awful smell that wafted on me, and said congrats and pushed her off and ran back to the train.

Who was sitting behind me? 

Some guy who had not showered in 2014 and possibly the entire 2013. Turns out this guy was straight up homeless:

All of his stuff was in trash bags, definitely felt bad for the guy. This wasn't my first experience with traveling with homeless people. I gave a ride to a homeless guy to DC (from Chicago) when I was visiting my brother. Whooooaaaa was that an experience. I could tell at least 10 stories about that whack job, but back to the point. 

Luckily he slept in the dining room car "hacking and blowing chunks into a coffee cup" all night (Eric's words).

Being a cheap ass and not wanting to spend $15 on some microwaved burger from amtrak or $25 on "gourmet" eggs from the kitchen (talk about a phenomenal profit margin), I did the only logical thing: I called pizza places to see who would deliver to an amtrak station while the train pulled in! Took 7 different phone calls until I finally found a suitor. I warned them that they had an at best 5 minute delivery window. Turns out they had a three minute delivery window, but as always, everything works out in the end for this guy:

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

The look on everyone's face, including the conductor, was priceless, I was on the verge of being a legend on amtrak, but my bid fell short. I attempted to get the pizza delivery guy to stop at the liquor store on the way and pick me up a 24 pack of beer. They claimed this was "against store policy." Which brings me to two questions:

1. How many people actually ask the pizza delivery guy to pick them up booze that they had to make a store policy about it?

2. Why aren't there liquor stores right next to train stations?

Other weird things witnessed on the amtrak:

Some guy deciding to take a stroll on the railroad tracks:

Anyone can use the PA system there, it was ridiculous. 

At 6am they wanted us to know that you don't need reservations for breakfast and proceeded to list off the whole menu and prices. Let me sleep for heaven's sake.

They let us know when the snack bar lady was going on break for 15 minutes and it wasn't a quick "snack bar will be closed for 15" it was a "this is the snack bar, I wanted all of you to know that I have a break coming up where I will be eating breakfast. Since I'll be eating breakfast I will not be in attendance at the snack bar. Since the snack bar will not have an attendant, that means it will be closed, mmmm-Kay. So if you need anything now before I eat breakfast, please come down. I'll let you know when I am back."

They let us know that someone was not flushing the toilet. They let us know every time something minor was coming on.

I knew the whereabouts of everyone on that train due to that damn PA system. I was tempted to use it:

"hi this is passenger 13 in car 13, I need to go unload in the bathroom, so if you need me, come swing by now before I disappear for 20 minutes destroying the bathroom."

Seattle, here I am!!!